Then I Was…

This past weekend was my middle son, Mitchell’s, bachelor party weekend. Brennan and his oldest brother, Seth, are Mitch’s best men, so they took the reins on planning. Needless to say, I’ve never been to a bachelor party, but I’ve heard about a few. When I got married, many moons ago, my soon-to-be husband came home with a pasty on his forehead. (Where the pasty had been previously…you can probably figure out on your own.) I wasn’t a big help on ideas for Mitch’s party, but they had their own plan, which was better.

Bachelor parties have changed, and yet they haven’t. In the way of most things, they have become “more”. Like high school prom invitations. When I went to prom, my date asked me while I was at my locker. Or – maybe while we were out on a date. Yea – a date – no one does that anymore either. Now – it has to be a prom-posal, and they get more sophisticated every year. And I hear they’re not just for prom either. All high school dances now have an expectation of some spectacular invitation – no pressure though.

Wedding proposals are “more”, too. They used to be an intimate surprise. Now, some couples invite groups of family and friends to watch and record the proposal. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen some very nice footage from proposals on beaches, in parks, on Penn State’s campus – on basketball courts. But, I still prefer the old school intimacy of just the two of you being there. Of it being a memory you share with each other – not your 10 closest friends. The world doesn’t really do intimacy very much any more.

But I digress…back to bachelor’s parties. The way that they’ve become more – is they’ve become longer. Once only a measly one-night deal, most have now expanded into a weekend. They’re still a rite of passage. A chance to celebrate, or rib, tease, and otherwise torture, the groom-to-be, but they seem less abusive than they used to be? I guess some guys still do lame stuff like clamp a ball and chain on the groom’s ankle, or wear matching tee shirts proclaiming it to be Frank’s last weekend of freedom, but some harmless ribbing is expected.

In the end, I heard good reports about Mitch’s party. They had a great time and the weekend was a success! No strippers – as requested – but some classic bachelor party fun was definitely had by all. What’s not to like about a weekend at the beach with your buds?

I am often caught off guard when I remember that my boys aren’t little any more. That one of them is getting married in less than a month is amazing. But I’m glad Seth and Brennan got to plan, and be a big part of this once-in-a-lifetime event for their brother. It’s inevitable that things change, but it’s essential to still celebrate the big milestones in life. Getting married is huge, of course, but all of the planning and hoopla that leads up to the big day is important, too. So, bottoms up – raise your glass (or copper mug) in appreciation of bachelor parties, best men, grooms-to-be, and one of life’s rites of passage.